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The Will To Rebuild

1 – Shadow

Can a broken man speak whole words?
Can hope be taught from a place of hurt?
Can love exist in a world of hate?
Can truth outlast even the faintest of faith?

Will I ever know?

I can feel there’s a devil in me refusing to leave.
My life didn’t end, it never began.
There’s a thorn in me that won’t leave me be.

So when my last breath fails & I start to go, will I figure out what’s been binding up my heart?
We can’t go back to where it began. The hardest times are the times we’re living in. Right now.

We are the shadow.

2 – Fallout

Inhale, inhale.

Life leaves as smoke prevails.
These walls weep as my will to live simply fails.

Inhale, inhale inhale.

Few words remain in the wake of betrayal.
I’ve felt every stone & every nail.

You said this world was behind us, you used these words to define us.
With every chance to pull back your hand, you sparked the match.
You sparked the match & let it burn.

I’m standing in this house, burning down.
Was it worth it? Was it worth it?
Twisting home into my own hell?

I’ll never find my own sense of self in another person, I’ve been far too complacent.
So now I know, my whole world is flammable.

Inhale, inhale.

It’s coming down & I’m not so certain.
There’s something wrong here.

Inhale, inhale inhale.

Confining walls are built to burn. This is a place I hope to never return.
Watch me tear this wall of fire open & crawl from this furnace our love once sculpted.
From the inside I was blinded. Broader vision helps to define it.

You can’t deny this.

You said this world was behind us, you used these words to define us.
No matter your intention, all you ever did was confine us.

I feel the air.
For the first time in years.

For the first time in years, I feel the air.

3 – Nightmare

This is the sound of my certain self being unwound.
I sink deeper & deeper into hell, a hollow shell entering a new realm.
Inside my mind, captive to a new reich.

So this is what it sounds like?
This is what it sounds like.

Hell.
It’s all around.
Hell.

So this is what it sounds like.
Failure to prevail. Trapped in my own cell, living in my own hell.

What is worth discerning through all this hurting?
This is truly concerning.

I’ve seen hell & home blur together.
Am I a man or a monster?

Am I a man or a monster?

I can feel it now.

No returning back through all this hurting.
The deep & dark has swallowed me up.
There’s no describing what I have become.

Must I destroy myself to see the good prevail?
I was certain of who I was, but now I’m certain that it’s all lost.
Seems so much harder now, to keep my feet on the ground.

I don’t belong here, trapped in this nightmare.
Pick me up, pull me out from this place that has me bound.

I don’t belong here, trapped in this nightmare.
This is my life unwound & this is how it sounds.

This is how it sounds.

This is how it sounds.

Will I ever exist again, with my own heart within my own skin?

Can you feel it now?

4 – The Will
Pieces of me are scattered too far to see.
Pain ends they say, but it refuses to leave.
I have the will in me, but at times I refuse to believe.
I may seem whole, but I’m missing a crucial piece.
My reality is the hardest truth to instill.
I’m in pieces, I’m in pieces.
Slowly finding the will to rebuild.

5 – September

I’m searching for the right words to say, yet they all escape.
Nothing deciphers what happened to me on this day.
My love lay waste as my life is disgraced. All clarity is slowly decayed.

Hopeless men carry broken hearts, weighed down by hurtful words.
All I have is living in the past. I can’t help but reflect.
I recollect; once holding your hand, not looking forward never looking back. Nothing in that moment lacked.
Though now we’re apart, I can’t seem to restart. Emptiness is all I have.
We were so madly in love, so much so that we could never be apart.
We had the whole world out in front, oh the tears I’ve shed knowing now that you’re gone.

I hope I never remember, the darkest day of September.

Oh, for seven long years I built & you brought it down.
Oh, for seven long years I bled & it meant nothing to you.

How will I ever find the will, the will to rebuild.
How will I ever find the will to rebuild without you.

6 – The Vacated

As the wind blows, hope from sorrow.
This place we used to call our home leaves me cold as stone.

The voice of the vacated is still present, in a way it has never left.

I wish the pain away but it holds in my skin.
Old wounds are the words I have left unsaid.
The pain behind these eyes is the kind you don’t forget.

You’ve taken everything, more of me that anyone ever has.
Now I’m taking it all back. Taking it back.

We were tethered, you & I.
Tangled up in a lie, intertwined.

We were tethered, held together.
I may seem free but I’m lost behind your eyes.

Pain is shaping who I am.
Time is taking me away from this.

When I arrive, survived & determined.
I can rebuild with the pieces that remain untaken.

I may be broken & hurting in this place you left. Place you left.
But in a flicker, this will be a memory years in the past.

Hold on, hold on. These words will soon be gone.

My heart refuses to restart, it once beat in time with yours.
Our eyes lock & I remember what we’ve lost.
Across this barren plane, staring you in the face.
I’ll say it again as I’ve said it before, these scars are the same as yours.
As the wind blows, hope from sorrow.
This place we used to call our home leaves me cold as stone.

7 – Deep Down (Instrumental)

8 – Ascendant

I’ve been pulled back, from the jaws of death.
The knife moves slow through skin on bone.

Time I had to myself in my head on my own, almost severed the light of life I’ve always known.
No second chances, none for granted. These two feet are planted.
Through the heart of the moment somehow I’m still standing.

I know I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.
For what its worth, through all this hurt, I’m still standing now.
Claws draw light from the hole in my soul, how don’t they understand.
I’m more than a man.

Ascendant.

I am alive, take a look inside.
Every ounce of me fights to survive.
All that I’ve said & done doesn’t matter. This war is won.

Drowned out by thoughts of the past, none of it matters, nothing ever lasts.
I count myself blessed to be free from the grips of heresy.

I know I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.
For what it’s worth, through all this hurt, I’m still standing now.
For what it’s worth, through all this hurt. I know nothing can break me, nothing can break my skin.
They’ll see I’m still standing now.

Claws draw me back from the hell I’ve known.
Claws draw me back from the edge of death.

They mustn’t know I am, ascendant.

Ascendant.

9 – Vivid

Light still bleeds in through the window, I lay faintly awake.
A gentle warmth is present as I discern my thoughts from my dreams.

I’ve been here for weeks with only few winks of sleep.

The tears keep flowing & flowing.
The pain keeps growing & growing, to no end.

My mind now knows what my body refuses to believe.
The worst part of losing you, I know I’ve lost me too.

I’ve been here for weeks, with only few winks of sleep.
Our love once alight, is now lost to the night.

The tears keep flowing & flowing.
The pain keeps growing & growing.

10 – Derailed

Could your life, pour out through the chip in the glass?
Could you hold regret as your time slips past?
If it doesn’t hurt, then what’s it worth?

That’s why, I remain within the pain.
Nothing is lost & no one is to blame.

That’s why, I remain within the pain.
Afraid to feel? Be afraid to slip away.

Granting yourself no escape, counting every single day.
Comfort is the road to a life left to waste.
Contentment is the freight train to decay.

That’s why, I remain within the pain.
Nothing is lost & no one is to blame.

Thats why, I remain within the pain.
Afraid to feel? Be afraid to slip away.

Be afraid, all you love will lead you astray.
Be afraid, be afraid to slowly decay.
Far too much time I’ve spent hidden away.
Holding my breath in just to feel okay.
I feel my heart, is far too far away.
Life left me lost, it’s only me to blame.

How far, must I fall before I feel some self remorse?
How far, must I go before I find my way back home.

On the tilt of time, on the brink of life, on the edge of night.
Purpose looms in the light.

Don’t be afraid you’re safe. Don’t be afraid.

How far must I fall.

How far must I go.

How far must I go.

11 – Clearer

Drowning in every word you’ve said to me.
Realising the tide is swallowing me.
I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe.
My visions blurred though I clearly see.

Is it clearer?
The way in which you left me.
The hope I hold for life itself is locked away.

Is it clearer?
How easily you broke me.
You’ve had my heart all along.
You hold the key.

What you’ve said & done can never be forgotten.
Cos my trust is lost & my love is gone, I don’t feel I can ever move on.

From a lie to a lie to a lie to a lie, just to get you by.
From a lie to a lie to a lie to a lie, just to get you by.

The place I want to be I can never go.
The waves of suffering are crashing so slow.
So slow.

Is it clearer?
The way in which you left me.
The hope I hold for life itself is locked away.

Is it clearer?
How easily you broke me.
You’ve had my heart all along.
You hold the key.

I’m waiting for the hands that mend.
I’m waiting for the hands that mend, to make me whole again.

To make me whole again.

Is it clearer?